The best of Super Bowl 57
So much happens during the Super Bowl that it’s easy to forget there’s a football game involved. Super Bowl halftime shows are hyped for months despite most performers phoning it in and then collecting their massive checks on the way out. Movie studios wait until the Super Bowl to unveil trailers for some of their biggest titles. And America’s largest brands invest an entire year’s worth of advertising into one big spot they hope will stand out for its quirky cleverness.
With all this noise, it helps to get a condensed version of the events. So, here are the highlights of the entire Super Bowl LVII broadcast, from the Good to the Bad to the Ben Affleck.
The Game
First Quarter
The Chiefs started the game with a curious choice to allow the Eagles to receive first possession of the football. It seemed like this might’ve been a smart move, as the Chief’s defense was ferocious in the opening plays. But then the Eagle’s offense caught fire and totally dominated, marching down the field for a quick touchdown on their first possession.
Eagles, 7-0.
The Chiefs responded by steamrolling the Eagle’s defense for a TD of their own.
Tie game, 7-7.
Both teams then came awake defensively. The Eagles were able to limit the Chiefs to a field goal attempt that loudly bonked off the left post and missed.
Second Quarter
Jalen Hurts launched an incredible 45-yard bomb to A.J. Brown for a touchdown.
Eagles take the lead, 14-7.
Hurts then nullifies his epic pass with a fumble that’s recovered by the Chief’s Nick Bolton and returned for a touchdown.
Chiefs tie it up, 14-14.
The Eagle’s offense struggles a bit but decides to go for it on 4th and five near the 50-yard line. Hurts scrambles, almost getting tripped near the line of scrimmage before getting the first down. Then, near the goal line, Hurts rushes again for his second rush TD of the game. “MVP” chants break out.
Eagles are now in the lead, 21-14.
A quick Eagles drive in the closing moments before halftime yields a field goal.
The eagles expand their lead 24-14.
Third Quarter
The Chiefs come roaring out of halftime with a TD on their first drive.
Chiefs narrow the lead, 24-21.
Then on defense, the Chiefs almost recover another fumble and return it for a touchdown until a review declares it to be an incomplete catch.
Still 24-21, Eagles ahead by a field goal.
A short field goal by the Eagles extends their lead, 27-21.
The third quarter ends with the Chiefs in possession of the football, down by slightly less than a touchdown.
Fourth Quarter
The Chiefs continue their third-quarter momentum and complete a wide-open pass for a touchdown. The extra point gives the Chiefs their first lead of the game, 28-27.
The Eagles can’t make anything happen on offense and are forced to kick the second punt of the game.
The Chiefs’ Kadarius Toney has the longest punt return in Super Bowl history, setting up Kansas City for first and goal. On third and goal, another wide open pass gets the Chiefs a TD. They expand their lead with less than 10 minutes left in the game, 35-27.
A long pass to DeVonta Smith sets up the Eagles for a QB sneak into the end zone. Philly then attempts a 2-point conversion and ties the game, 35-35, with about 6 minutes left in regulation.
At this point, football fans are hyperventilating.
At the 2-minute warning, the Chiefs have the ball around the Eagles’ 15-yard line.
A game-altering holding call against the Eagles gives the Chiefs a first down. They deliberately take some time off the clock before kicking a short field goal with 11 seconds left. Chiefs take the lead, 38-35.
The Eagles take possession of the football with 6 seconds left. They throw up a Hail Mary, but it’s incomplete. The Kansas City Chiefs win Super Bowl LVII, 38 to 35.
The Halftime Show
A pregnant Rihanna descended from the heavens singing “Bitch Better Have My Money” as dancers in white poofy hoodies grooved on a stage down below. Thankfully, the US military didn’t shoot her down. The singer then delivered a nice medley of her hits. The camera angles and movements kept things visually interesting, despite the costumes and stage staying pretty much the same throughout the performance. There were some decent fireworks peppered in. Rihanna eventually rode her UFO platform again back up towards the rafters.
Overall, it felt like a pretty typical Rihanna concert with an extra hundred or so backup dancers. If you enjoy a typical Rihanna performance, this halftime show is for you. Everyone else would probably judge it to be fine but underwhelming. At least it wasn’t as bad as Maroon 5.
The Commercials
Adam Driver Squarespace – A quirky, Matrix-esque spot featuring Kylo Ren ruminating on a website that creates websites.
Breaking Bad Returns – PopCorners chips are just as good as meth!
Michelob Ultra Caddy Shack Parody – You can’t help but love seeing Brian Cox in the Rodney Dangerfield role of this sendup of the comedy classic.
Ben Affleck works at Dunkin’ – Cute, super Boston spot with Ben Affleck taking drive-through orders at a Dunkin’ in Massachusetts
Will Ferrell GM/Netflix – A somewhat funny ad promoting GM electric vehicles’ inclusion in Netflix movies and TV shows
Paramount+ Sylvester Stallone Mountain – Bizarre spot with Sylvester Stallone dangling from a Mount Rushmore-esque statue of his own face.
Movie Spots
The Flash – Somehow Ezra Miller isn’t canceled and Michael Keaton is back as Batman.
Air – Ben Affleck and Matt Damon reunite for a movie about Nike sneakers that looks amazing.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 – Fun preview of James Gunn’s final contribution to the beloved Marvel franchise.
Fast X – I think I speak for all red-blooded Americans when I say that Hollywood can keep pumping out Fast and Furious movies until the end of time
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny – Indy returns once again to battle time, old age, and Nazis.
Overall
The MVP award goes to Ben Affleck, who was featured in not one but two Super Bowl spots. His new film Air looks great, and his Dunkin’ spot was a lot of fun. Maybe Ben and J-Lo should perform at the next halftime show? Just tossing the idea out there.
The football game itself was close and competitive throughout, with an absolute barnburner of a finish. The fourth-quarter holding call against the Eagles will likely be the subject of heated debate for years to come (at least among Philly fans). Despite the controversy, this was one of the best Super Bowl games in recent memory.
