The State of Horror: “The Mouse Trap” Joins the Infamous List
This year, the horror film The Mouse Trap has found its way onto our list of the year’s worst movies. It’s hardly a shock—recent trends in horror have frequently dipped into less-than-stellar territory. But the presence of a horror film on such a list is not just a matter of routine; it underscores a broader trend. Our worst of the year list isn’t simply a collection of films that didn’t hit the mark or those that were outright disappointments, instead, it’s populated by films that go beyond mere mediocrity. These are movies that truly horrify, not through their narrative or artistry, but through their sheer inability to deliver quality cinema. They are the kind that drag you into a bleak abyss of unwatchability, leaving you squirming with discomfort due to their glaring flaws and prolonged dullness.
To make it onto this ignominious list, a movie must meet certain critical standards that go beyond simple lack of enjoyment. The films we deem the worst are those that spectacularly fail to meet any acceptable level of competence or entertainment. These aren’t just movies that you might forget after viewing; these are films that actively evoke a sense of regret during the viewing experience, characterized by a profound ineptitude in execution and an ability to exasperate and bore simultaneously. Here, we present the ten Worst Movies that most effectively achieved this level of notoriety this year, with The Mouse Trap standing out as a quintessential example of how not to make a horror film.
“Poolman” – A Disastrous Attempt at LA Noir
Chris Pine’s latest project, Poolman, is a stark departure from what fans might expect, even for those devoted to his work. In this film, Pine not only takes the lead role but also steps behind the camera as director and contributes as a co-writer. He portrays a disheveled, long-haired pool cleaner whose character draws a vague resemblance to the Dude from “The Big Lebowski.” However, the comparison falls apart as this version of the Dude seems to be losing his intellect with every passing scene.
Pine’s approach to directing doesn’t involve staging coherent scenes; instead, viewers are treated to a series of unfocused half-jokes and meandering, nonsensical asides. The plot attempts to weave a conspiracy akin to the narrative depth of “Chinatown,” but it ends up resembling more a cheap imitation, much like comparing the experience of drinking boxed wine to savoring a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild. This film stands as a bewildering example of an absurdist disaster, leaving audiences baffled rather than entertained.
“Rumours” -The Maddin Enigma
In the world of cinema, certain directors achieve a near-sacred status among critics, and Guy Maddin is one such figure—revered as a whimsical, hermetic Canadian experimentalist with a penchant for cinematic pranks. Despite his acclaim, his style isn’t universally adored, and personally, I find his films more frustrating than fascinating. His latest endeavor, co-directed with Evan Johnson and Galen Johnson, is titled Rumours. The movie showcases many celebrities led by Cate Blanchett, who effectively portrays a character reminiscent of an haughty Angela Merkel. The story focuses on a group of world leaders who attend the G7 summit, but they get lost in the forest. The ensuing dialogue is in a way a mixture of the dream-like and the incredibly dull. Positioned as a political “satire,” the political comment piece, however, turns itself to a form of satirical torture, suffocating from its own wittiness and the endlessness of its talk.
“Reagan” – A Nostalgic Biopic with a Singular Focus
Released strategically before Trump’s electoral success, the Ronald Reagan biopic, Reagan, struck a chord with audiences longing for the cinematic return of old-school, made for TV movie charm. The film found its niche among viewers nostalgic for a simpler, more straightforward style of storytelling. Dennis Quaid’s portrayal of Reagan is marked by his constant twinkly grins and a laid-back demeanor, encapsulated by his drawling “way-ll.” Throughout the movie, Reagan is depicted almost mythically, as a heroic figure in a fairy tale, singularly focused on one major political agenda: the defeat of Communism.
This film takes considerable liberties with historical facts, cutting corners to craft a narrative that portrays Reagan as the quintessential ranch-hand superhero who single handedly brought down Communism. Such a portrayal oversimplifies complex global dynamics and reduces the multifaceted political landscape to a black-and-white storyline. The movie also controversially addresses the Iran-Contra affair, framing it as a mere conspiracy by malevolent forces intent on undermining ‘Ronnie.’ This representation is reminiscent of an infomercial, promoting Reagan as an unproblematic leader devoid of any personal or political conflicts. Inside this cinematic universe, the Reagan depicted lacks depth and internal struggle, as does the film itself, offering a one-dimensional view of a figure who was anything but simple.
“The End” – A Claustrophobic Musical Drama
Joshua Oppenheimer’s film “The End” presents a stifling vision of a post-apocalyptic world, confined entirely to the setting of a bunker. This left-wing chamber-drama musical creates an atmosphere where time seems to stand still, possibly accentuating the feeling that one’s watch has stopped due to the drag of the narrative. The film stars Michael Shannon and Tilda Swinton as morally corrupt parents who belong to a wealthy family. This family has spent two decades living in a luxurious home facade situated within an underground salt mine.
Throughout the movie, the characters engage in a peculiar exchange of reflective thoughts and confessions, often conveyed through song. It is revealed that Shannon’s character, a prominent figure in the energy sector, might have played a significant role in the destruction of the Earth. While a couple of the musical numbers manage to captivate with their beauty, the majority fall short, reminiscent of discarded Stephen Sondheim pieces. This only adds to the overwhelming claustrophobia that permeates the film. “The End” tries to juggle numerous complex ideas and themes but ends up meandering through its lengthy runtime of two hours and 28 minutes without a clear direction, leaving the audience trapped in a cycle of overambition and underachievement.
“Lisa Frankenstein” – A Tired Twist on Teen Horror
The horror comedy genre aims to blend fright with laughter, but “Lisa Frankenstein” falls notably flat, reminiscent of day-old soda—lacking any fizz or appeal. This film takes a campy dive into teen horror-comedy with a plot centered around a teenage girl who bizarrely decides to bring her boyfriend back from the dead. Written by Diablo Cody, known for her sharp and edgy scripts, this movie surprisingly misfires by leaning heavily on a clichéd critique of suburban life.
What stands out as particularly jarring in “Lisa Frankenstein” is its reliance on a stale narrative angle that views suburban life as the epitome of middle-class monotony and misery—a theme that has felt overused and exhausted since the days of “Desperately Seeking Susan.” The film attempts to satirize the suburban setting but ends up feeling more outdated than innovative. It morphs into what could be described as an overly complex “Saturday Night Live” sketch, stretching a thin premise into a full-length feature without the necessary substance or humor to sustain it. The result is a teenage slasher romance that tries to be edgy and satirical but ends up simply rehashing old tropes with little fresh or funny to offer.
Peter Debruge’s 5 Worst Movies
“Dogman” – A Misguided Cinematic Endeavor
Luc Besson’s latest film, “Dogman,” takes a bold but ultimately misguided approach to storytelling, featuring Caleb Landry Jones in a challenging role that pushes the boundaries of conventional cinema. While Netflix’s “Emilía Perez” divides audiences with its portrayal of a trans cartel boss, Besson’s attempt to navigate similarly complex themes falls significantly short. In “Dogman,” Jones portrays a cross-dressing, wheelchair-using antihero with the unique ability to control street dogs, a premise that might intrigue but fails to deliver due to the film’s flawed execution.
The film attempts to weave a dark narrative around its protagonist, who is depicted as a deeply traumatized individual raised in a doghouse and now struggling under the scrutiny of a police psychologist aiming to tame his wild, unconventional behaviors. This setup aims to explore themes of empathy and societal outcasts but ends up feeling more like a third-rate imitation of “Joker,” lacking the necessary depth and insight. The depth of the character’s background and his strange abilities could have been an open field for developing a strong narrative that tackles issues such as identity and alienation.
But in application, Besson’s management drives the plot to a complex mess that gives out confusion than empathy. The portrayal of the movie’s claim to artistic integrity appears paradoxical within the story itself, exposing a significant disparity in the artist’s vision and the audience’s perception. This contrast is exemplified by a character who recognizes the film as the product of an artist but also who disagrees respectively from a witness’s point of view that claims there is little worth in this messy and disordered presentation.
“The Mouse Trap” – A Missed Opportunity with Public Domain Icons
As cultural icons like Mickey Mouse enter the public domain after 95 years under corporate protection, one might expect a resurgence of creative and innovative interpretations of these beloved characters. However, the reality has been quite disappointing, with many filmmakers seizing the opportunity to churn out low-quality productions merely to capitalize quickly on these now-public figures. This year, the trend continued with the release of “The Mouse Trap,” a film that unfortunately follows in the dubious footsteps of “Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey,” which not only released a sequel but also teased the troubling prospect of an expanded “Poohniverse” set to include characters like Peter Pan, Bambi, and Pinocchio by 2025.
“The Mouse Trap” gives a distinctively uninventive plot in which a Canadian film crew creates a horror film about a man who turns into a homicidal maniac after viewing “Steamboat Willie.” The film fails to present realistic fears and instead only asks on the screen where were those strange, nonsensical, supernatural elements, such as the antagonist’s teleporting and his choice of a Mickey Mouse mask as a disguise. These questionable choices give the viewers an impression that the director is playing a practical joke, eventually making us start to question the often seemingly arbitrary or illogical artistic decisions. Consequently, the audience is watching a film which not only dishonors the iconic character it uses but that also seems to be denying the benefits that the original story might lend to the cinema.
“Not Another Church Movie” – Misses the Mark
Nearly two decades since Tyler Perry captivated audiences with “Diary of a Mad Black Woman,” proving his ability to succeed independently in Hollywood, he continues to produce films with a similar moralizing tone. This consistent approach has made Perry a significant and somewhat divisive figure in the entertainment industry. His unique style, especially his ventures into cross-dressing comedy, often places him at the center of criticism and envy. In “Not Another Church Movie,” Perry is parodied under the moniker “Pherry,” a twist that borders on the edge of disrespect due to its undertones.
Directed by Johnny Mack, “Not Another Church Movie” aims to be a satirical critique of Perry’s filmography but falls into the trap of crudeness and poor execution. The film attempts to poke fun at various cultural icons, including Oprah and Judge Hatchett, yet fails to leverage its star-studded cast effectively. Jamie Foxx, portraying God, and Mickey Rourke, playing a frail-looking Satan adorned in a red cape and lingerie, are underutilized, their appearances reduced to mere cameos. The satire lacks finesse and coherence, leading to a movie that feels more like a harsh critique rather than a clever or insightful parody. This approach not only diminishes the potential impact of the film but also squanders an opportunity to engage with Perry’s influence on cinema in a meaningful way.
“Harold and the Purple Crayon” – Misses Its Artistic Mark
The classic children’s book by Crockett Johnson depicts the boundless imagination of a young boy, Harold, who decides to use a purple crayon to dream adventures that come from his imagination. This beloved tale seemed to head toward a world of infinite speculative expansions through its adaptation to the big screen. There was a spark of excitement years ago when Spike Jonze was rumored to be involved, raising hopes for a film that might channel the whimsical, metafictional spirit of “Duck Amuck,” the famed Looney Tunes animation where Daffy Duck grapples with a mischievous animator’s pencil.
Despite the rich creative possibilities, Sony’s adaptation of “Harold and the Purple Crayon” falls into a well-worn rut. Following a formulaic path trodden by films like “Sonic” and “The Smurfs,” the movie opts to drag its cartoon character into the real world. Zachary Levi transforms the uniquely charming Harold into a less appealing, real-world version, which might be described as allergic-to-the-eyes for fans of the original enchanting illustrations. This decision prompts a broader reflection on the state of children’s cinema: why do so many films that claim to celebrate the power of imagination fail to exhibit any themselves? The irony is stark, as the film preaches the virtues of creativity yet shows little originality in its own execution, leaving audiences, especially those familiar with the source material, yearning for what could have been.
“Rebel Moon: Director’s Cut” – An Overextended Spectacle
Is there anything more superfluous than a “Star Wars” imitation stretched into a two-part saga? Directed by Zack Snyder, known for his penchant for visually intense, pop-culture remixes, “Rebel Moon” pushes this envelope even further. Imagine, then, a six-hour director’s cut of this already expansive film, intensified with more bloodshed yet lacking any real sensuality. Despite its ambitions to add something novel to the “Heavy Metal” genre, complete with battle droids and scantily clad warrior characters, the film fails to make a lasting impact.
Much of “Rebel Moon” drifts away from memory quickly, save for a few standout scenes like a confrontation involving Jena Malone’s spider-like creature, Ogumo, and a character reminiscent of “Game of Thrones” who seems to traverse the galaxy without ever wearing a shirt. Reporting on the film, I noted Snyder’s attempt to surpass the imaginations of all sci-fi creators before him. However, his focus seemed overly fixated on trivial elements such as overly sexualized characters rather than genuine storytelling or character development. Watching “Rebel Moon: Director’s Cut” feels akin to observing an ambitious child playing with a set of borrowed Legos, attempting to build a world that is grandiose in scope but ultimately feels cobbled together from familiar pieces without a fresh or cohesive vision.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this year’s lineup of Worst Movies presents a vivid tapestry of cinematic ambitions, ranging from misguided adaptations and formulaic sequels to audacious yet flawed attempts at reinventing beloved genres. Whether it’s the misplaced creativity in “Harold and the Purple Crayon,” the nostalgic misfires in “Lisa Frankenstein,” or the overly ambitious yet hollow spectacle of “Rebel Moon: Director’s Cut,” these films collectively highlight a recurring theme in the industry: the struggle to balance original storytelling with commercial appeal. As filmmakers continue to explore and push the boundaries of narrative and visual style, the real challenge remains—to craft movies that not only entertain but also endure, leaving lasting impressions on their audiences. Each entry in this list, for all its faults, underscores the importance of innovation and authenticity in creating memorable cinema.
