Celebrity
Rachael Kirkconnell says ‘everything was fine’ the night before her breakup with Bachelor star Matt James
Painful Reflection
Appearing on the Call Her Daddy podcast with host Alex Cooper, Rachael Kirkconnell, the winner of The Bachelor season 25, has not only revealed the churn of emotions she went through when she pulled out from Matt James, but she also claimed that it was difficult to cope with the images formed in her mind that depicted her future hand in hand with him. She had believed in a full life together—envisioning how they would share their days and support each other’s goals—only to see that hope disappear in the blink of an eye. Kirkconnell explained that it felt as though someone had simply yanked away the life she was expecting to have, leaving her with a deep sense of loss.

This sudden shift from hopeful anticipation to sorrowful realization cast a long shadow over her emotional well-being, and she shared how hard it was to adapt to this new normal. Moreover, she said that nothing quite prepared her for the wave of sadness that set in once the relationship’s direction changed so abruptly, making it clear just how profound the breakup’s impact truly was.
During the interview, Rachael Kirkconnell explained that she and James had frequently discussed taking their relationship to the next step. He even asked her to start saving ideas for rings and to pick out potential designs they could examine together. She remembered a moment when she felt entirely reassured of his commitment, thinking, “Wow, okay. He really is on board with this.” Yet, even with such hope, the situation quickly veered off course.
Meeting on The Bachelor
The backdrop for their entire relationship was, of course, The Bachelor season 25, during which Matt James made history as the franchise’s first Black lead. Kirkconnell vied for his heart among a pool of contestants, yet she stood out early on, eventually winning him over. Initially, viewers witnessed a strong connection blooming between the pair, offering what seemed like a sweet and promising love story. Everything shifted, however, when past photos of Kirkconnell participating in an antebellum plantation-themed college event and wearing a culturally insensitive costume came to light.
Public scrutiny grew, and these revelations led to fervent discussions about race, representation, and accountability within The Bachelor universe. As both fans and critics weighed in, the pressure mounted on Kirkconnell and James. Their once joyful on-screen romance became intertwined with broader societal questions, placing each of them in the center of an intense spotlight they did not fully anticipate when they first agreed to take part in the show.
Amid the uproar, James spoke out against the show’s producers, declaring that they “missed the mark” while managing his season. Furthermore, several producers acknowledged that they had failed to adequately protect him from the wave of racism that surfaced among viewers and certain participants. This environment complicated James and Kirkconnell’s relationship, casting doubt on a future that once seemed so certain. Public backlash, coupled with scrutiny from fans and media outlets, magnified their struggles in a way neither could have fully prepared for.
Abrupt Shift
All of these factors came together to create a point of no return, leading James and Kirkconnell to eventually part ways. Despite the moments in which she believed they had a clear future laid out—discussing engagements and planning for the days ahead—the whirlwind of controversies and emotional turmoil altered the course of their relationship. When Kirkconnell spoke of the pain, she stressed how disorienting it was to see something that seemed so stable suddenly unravel.
From her perspective, the devastation lay not just in losing a partner but in recognizing how quickly hopes and dreams can dissolve when confronted by harsh reality. In sharing her story, she illuminated the sometimes overwhelming power that public opinion and unresolved social issues can wield over private lives, even more so when those lives are thrust into the spotlight of a widely watched television series. Ultimately, her reflections serve as an honest portrayal of how love, under the glare of controversy, can shift from a warm promise to a painful memory in what feels like an instant.
In the end, Matt James selected Rachael Kirkconnell during the final episode of their season on The Bachelor, and the two proceeded to share a relationship—albeit without a formal engagement or marriage—until very recently. This month, James took a photo of the couple to social media and posted it with a heartfelt caption. Part of that caption read: “Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding.” That announcement signaled the official conclusion of their time together as a couple.
Unexpected Timing
According to Rachael Kirkconnell, the timing of the breakup itself—and the subsequent social media post—was a jolt to her system. She describes how everything had seemed relatively normal just the evening before, with no heated argument or lingering tensions to suggest that a split was on the horizon. She did mention feeling overwhelmed during that period, but she did not foresee the magnitude of what was coming. This sense of shock reinforced how quickly a relationship can shift from seemingly stable to irrevocably changed. By the next day, James’ post had confirmed what she was still grappling with: They were no longer together, and she had not anticipated that public revelation to appear in her feed so soon.
The suddenness of it all magnified her confusion, highlighting how even a simple moment like planning for the following day could be upended by an unexpected decision to end things. Kirkconnell also shared details about the couple’s recent trip to Tokyo, which has now become the last vacation they took together. During this journey, she tried especially hard to arrange an ideal dinner for them, only to discover that their first-choice restaurant was unavailable—possibly because it was closed or otherwise inaccessible.

In the midst of searching for an alternative, she felt immense pressure to find a place that would meet James’ standards and preserve the fun vibe of their trip. Her determination stemmed from a desire to ensure their time abroad was special, particularly given how much Matt appreciated unique dining experiences. Yet, this earnest effort ended up reflecting the broader tension in their relationship: Trying to maintain a perfect facade while juggling unspoken concerns.
Dining Pressure
Much of Kirkconnell’s anxiety about selecting the right restaurant came from James’ habit of documenting almost every meal they shared. Throughout their time together, he frequently updated his Instagram stories and feed with videos and photos of them sampling various dishes. This hobby had become a signature part of their public persona, turning casual meals into content for fans following their romance. Kirkconnell admitted that the constant filming added a layer of responsibility each time they decided to eat out. She felt obligated to pick places that would reflect well on both of them, since these moments would be broadcast to a large audience.
Although this practice might have started off as a fun way to share their adventures, it also highlighted how their relationship existed under a spotlight, with little room for imperfection or spontaneity. Expanding on the issue of constantly being on camera, Rachael Kirkconnell recounted how they would record “literally every single meal” they had, no matter where they went. At first, it might have seemed amusing or even exciting to invite followers into their culinary experiences. But as time went on, this routine placed extra strain on decisions that should have been simple, like picking a suitable restaurant in a foreign city.
She reflected on how this pattern, combined with the unique pressures of having met on a reality television show, made it challenging to uphold a normal relationship. Suddenly, even the most mundane tasks felt like performances. Ultimately, the blend of social media scrutiny, day-to-day stress, and a sudden breakup announcement exposed the fragility of a romance already tested by public opinion. Kirkconnell’s candid reflections shed light on what happens when personal emotions collide with the demands of a very visible relationship, revealing how vulnerability can reach a tipping point almost overnight.
Mounting Strain
On the day before their major discussion, Matt James adopted a noticeably aloof demeanor, which caused tension to brew between him and Rachael Kirkconnell. She recalled feeling “tired, cranky, emotional,” and overall “overwhelmed” by the circumstances of their trip, yet she believed the friction was only a temporary annoyance. Despite noticing his stoniness, she admitted, “I didn’t think anything serious. I really didn’t. I just was annoyed with him, that’s all.” This statement illustrates how she initially dismissed the possibility that their relationship could be unraveling, even though the situation was clearly setting the stage for the very difficult talk that would soon follow. Nevertheless, the undercurrents of frustration hinted at more significant issues lurking beneath the surface.
By the next day, the standoffish silence coming from James lingered. Rachael Kirkconnell, who was already stressed from the night before, finally pushed him to explain why he was being so uncharacteristically reserved. She believed that simply confronting him about his changed attitude might clear the air. However, as she later reasoned, her question acted like a catalyst, prompting James to “let out everything that I guess he had been feeling for a while.” It became clear that whatever had been weighing on him was deeper than a simple travel squabble or momentary irritation. Instead of getting the quick reassurance she had hoped for, Kirkconnell found herself hearing painful truths that would radically alter their bond.
Deep Concerns
When James eventually opened up, he confessed that certain qualities in Kirkconnell gave him pause regarding a long-term commitment. More specifically, he worried about characteristics he feared would be problematic in a wife. According to Rachael Kirkconnell, “the whole accountability and saying sorry and all that” served as “really the main thing” in his mind. He then disclosed a very stark realization: “I can’t actually see myself married to you.” Those words sent a jolt through her, shattering her assumption that they were on a secure path forward. She remembered responding, “I feel like after four years you should know or you should feel ready. And if you don’t, then that’s not a good thing. We probably shouldn’t be together.” That direct statement from her underscored the finality of the conversation and the disappointment she felt in discovering he could not envision a permanent life alongside her.
In just a brief span of time, everything they had built together seemed to collapse. The fact that her exasperation the night before had felt trivial only made the following day’s outcome more jarring. She had believed they might simply resolve whatever issue was brewing, yet his candid admission transformed minor friction into a serious breakup. Although it all unfolded so quickly, Kirkconnell understood that James had been harboring these thoughts for a while. Hearing him admit that he could no longer see a future with her forced her to confront the painful reality of their four-year history losing its sense of direction in a single conversation. The transition from an apparently normal day to a final end was abrupt, leaving her grappling with a wave of difficult emotions.
Lingering Shock

Until she addressed the matter on the Call Her Daddy podcast with Alex Cooper, Rachael Kirkconnellhad refrained from making any public remarks about their split following James’ January 16 post. She expressed how she remains “in total shock,” which explains why she had not previously issued a statement or shared her perspective. From her viewpoint, the rapid unraveling of a relationship that seemed relatively intact just hours before was not something she could swiftly process. Rather, she needed time to sort through the turmoil and heartbreak, much like everyone else watching from the sidelines. Her comments about still coming to grips with the breakup highlight the emotional magnitude of letting go of a partner she once envisioned spending her life with, marking an end she never anticipated so soon.
